Growing up

I only have three quarters left of my high school career. Can the last day of my senior year come soon enough? Not a chance. Do I really want leave this old place behind? It will be tough. 

There are days that I loath another day of being trapped in the walls of my sunless high school. Then there are some days that I think on all of the people I have gotten to know. Are there any chances that I will see them after I leave? The answer is no.

While most of my days are spent daydreaming about my open future and what adventures I will have there are some days that I fall into despair over what I will lose. I will lose the comfort of home. The companionship of my friends. The worry less life I lead. I will have to gain responsibilities of having to pay bills and manage money. 

The downsides of growing up do seem intimidating but they are also far outnumbered by the promises of what I can do with the life I will lead. I can hardly wait to make new friends and meet people who sweep me away with their love of life. I can't wait to learn everything I can. The promise of adventure excites me. And the number of trips I dream of taking is overwhelming and exciting. The places I want to live, the things I want to do, and the passionate life I want to live all run through my mind daily. I want to make a difference, I want to stick out, I want to blend in and observe, I want to live life to its full capacity. I will not live long enough to experience all of the living I dream of. 

My only fear in life is not being able to do all that I dream. The only comfort I have in knowing I will choose the right adventures is Christ. God knows exactly what I will do with my life and because of this I must remind myself to always go His way. I must strengthen my faith in The Lord so as to not get lost in the storms of life. And through the perils of life with Christ I will know I am on the right path and that I am living out what I was made for.

The years I have spent growing up are all I have ever known and when I leave them my world will change. But a change for the better is all that can be promised from God. So, am I excited for my future? Yes. Will I miss my past? Yes but that is life. Do I worry about my future? No. My life is The Lord's.

War

I often find my own mind at war with itself. One side against the other. Warring, making a mess of my sanity and confusing my heart very much. Oh, it is no secret that my heart gets into the middle of my warring mind. It is the only thing that ends up getting hurt.
My thoughts keep me up at night. I get not even a wink of sleep. Why must a mind be such a blessing and a curse? One half says, "you must do what is upstanding and right! You mustn't be a stranger to the Lord." I, more than anything, want to follow this voice. But then the other side urges me towards the way of the world. Saying you must belong to us. You must long for things you cannot have, please compare yourself to this person that looks to be way better off than you.
I have a war in my mind and you would never guess it. It is a pain that can only be cured by the peace of the Lord. But things are always easier said than done.

Living life God's way

Happy faces, rosy cheeks, shouts of glee, the scraping of metal against ice, the holding of hands, and the falling on bums. I'll bet you can guess where I was today!
I laced my feet into a pair of figure skates and became the dreamer of skating dreams. It took me awhile to warm up but ten minutes in I was skating like a pro.
I spent this lovely day with my Aunt, Uncle, Cousins, and Grandparents. Out of our whole group my two year old cousin was the most ambitious. In the beginning she wanted nothing to do with the ice but after seeing her Cousins and Mommy and Daddy skate, she wanted in. She took to the ice like a fish to water and after seeing a couple of other little kids skating backwards while holding a grown ups hands she let go of my Uncle's hand and grabbed both of mine. She then says "I want to skate backwards."
I think we can all learn from my cousins bravery. I once read that as soon as a child worries about the future is when childhood is given up they start to become an adult. Like any child my cousin did not worry about falling, she saw something she wanted to try and trusted that I would not let her fall.
Why can't adults and adolescents be like that? Why do we worry about what will happen when we want to do something. Now granted, it's a good to think about the consequences. You don't just do, say drugs just because you want to. Most people know not to do drugs because they thought through the consequences.
I'm talking about things that we know the consequences wouldn't be too grave. I'm talking things that God approves of, things that God says, "I want you to do that." Why can't we just trust that God would never have us do something that wouldn't shape us into the person He wants us to be? Just like I wouldn't have let my cousin skate backwards if I thought she would be hurt from it.
Why can't we just go head long into any adventure God okays for us? It could be the adventure that we tell our grandchildren about at our knee someday. Do you want to miss that opportunity? Just like how Bilbo Baggins said yes to his adventure, after much prodding, but thankfully he went along, otherwise we would have no Lord of the Rings and he would have no story to tell.
Ignore the fact that I just referenced LOTR if you have never seen the movies or read the books (you should really watch/read them though, they are great!) But I want you to understand what I am trying to say here. Adventure is meant to be had and life is meant to be lived to glorify God. So, jump in, don't be scared, if God approves you would be crazy not to hurry on your way and do His bidding. Think of how amazing this world would be and how interesting people would be if everyone allowed their every step to be guided by God Himself. It would be a lovely world.
So, next time you feel God urging you to do something unexpected, big or small, I challenge you to go out on a whim and grab life by the horns and go for it!
Abbie