Growing up

I only have three quarters left of my high school career. Can the last day of my senior year come soon enough? Not a chance. Do I really want leave this old place behind? It will be tough. 

There are days that I loath another day of being trapped in the walls of my sunless high school. Then there are some days that I think on all of the people I have gotten to know. Are there any chances that I will see them after I leave? The answer is no.

While most of my days are spent daydreaming about my open future and what adventures I will have there are some days that I fall into despair over what I will lose. I will lose the comfort of home. The companionship of my friends. The worry less life I lead. I will have to gain responsibilities of having to pay bills and manage money. 

The downsides of growing up do seem intimidating but they are also far outnumbered by the promises of what I can do with the life I will lead. I can hardly wait to make new friends and meet people who sweep me away with their love of life. I can't wait to learn everything I can. The promise of adventure excites me. And the number of trips I dream of taking is overwhelming and exciting. The places I want to live, the things I want to do, and the passionate life I want to live all run through my mind daily. I want to make a difference, I want to stick out, I want to blend in and observe, I want to live life to its full capacity. I will not live long enough to experience all of the living I dream of. 

My only fear in life is not being able to do all that I dream. The only comfort I have in knowing I will choose the right adventures is Christ. God knows exactly what I will do with my life and because of this I must remind myself to always go His way. I must strengthen my faith in The Lord so as to not get lost in the storms of life. And through the perils of life with Christ I will know I am on the right path and that I am living out what I was made for.

The years I have spent growing up are all I have ever known and when I leave them my world will change. But a change for the better is all that can be promised from God. So, am I excited for my future? Yes. Will I miss my past? Yes but that is life. Do I worry about my future? No. My life is The Lord's.

Homecoming Advice

Advice for “Homecoming Newbies” is being handed out and  it is all worth listening to. The dos and don'ts of homecoming are simple prices of advice for anyone with a question or two. So here is my advice to you:

The don’t list is a long one, this is a night you don’t want to look back on with regret. Don’t be stupid, don’t do drugs, don’t consume any alcohol, don’t participate in public displays of affection, nobody enjoys seeing that stuff. Don’t eat too much, you want to be able to dance. Don’t cause drama. Don’t wear those super cute heels you can’t walk in, no one wants to listen to your complaints, buy the flats instead. Don’t spend all of the money you, or your parents, have. Cut out all of the extras, for example the limos. Years down the road you are going to wish you had saved the money from that 15 minute limousine ride and the dress you are probably never going to wear again. Don't try to be the center of attention. Don't watch everyone dance, get on the floor and get crazy yourself. Girls, don't act like a princess. Guys, don’t be rude and don’t take the girl who is rude to you, everyone, guys and girls alike, deserve to be treated kindly. Don’t let your homecoming date bully you into spending the big bucks and  wearing a tux, kakias look just as nice and rumor has it they are much more enjoyable to wear.

The do’s are so much more fun. Do enjoy your night, do dance, do take too many pictures. Do paint your nails and do your own hair, it’s so much cheaper and when you get compliments, all of the credit goes to you. Do be thoughtful of everyone elses feelings, it’s their special night too. Do show loads of school spirit the week before homecoming. Do laugh. Do step out of your comfort zone, ask the cute girl or boy to dance. Do be modest, this is not a club it is a school event. Do have a plan, it’s no fun to be worrying about where you will go for dinner the day before homecoming. Do find something nice to complement everyone about, it’s no secret that everyone spends a lot of time trying to look nice so, make them feel like all of the preparations were worth it. Do make it a night to remember! Do go to homecoming you only get four.

Homecoming is not going to be the best day of your life, your wedding day will come and beat homecoming without a second thought. But it is still important to make this day something to remember. Be kind and gracious and always thoughtful of other people. When you make someone happy you make yourself happy, simple as that. Be safe, glorify God in everything, and make some memories!

War

I often find my own mind at war with itself. One side against the other. Warring, making a mess of my sanity and confusing my heart very much. Oh, it is no secret that my heart gets into the middle of my warring mind. It is the only thing that ends up getting hurt.
My thoughts keep me up at night. I get not even a wink of sleep. Why must a mind be such a blessing and a curse? One half says, "you must do what is upstanding and right! You mustn't be a stranger to the Lord." I, more than anything, want to follow this voice. But then the other side urges me towards the way of the world. Saying you must belong to us. You must long for things you cannot have, please compare yourself to this person that looks to be way better off than you.
I have a war in my mind and you would never guess it. It is a pain that can only be cured by the peace of the Lord. But things are always easier said than done.

An old thought but a good thought

I wrote this post awhile back and never had the chance to post it. So, here ya go:

Schools out for the summer, work training has been undergone and right now I am on my way to San Francisco. I'm going with my school band, nerdy I know, but a wonderful opportunity. I'm getting to know my classmates so well and I can't wait to see the busy streets of San Fran.
I have been watching many of my school mates and they seem to have a lost passion for life, or maybe they never had a zealousness for it. It makes me sad that they have already lost the curiosity of their childhood. To me life should be something to get excited about and something that should be explored. As children we all were little explorers, discovering the world around us. We went everywhere we wanted, put everything in our mouths, and stuck our fingers everywhere. So, where did that curiosity go? For people like me the curiosity isn't gone I ask a million plus one questions daily, I go where there is no path simply because that's what I want to explore. I have no clue why it is but I have and inexplicable obsession with the ever present possibility of adventure. Everything I do is an adventure like going on a walk or to the store. I believe that anything can be an adventure if one thinks of it in such a way.
Others on the opposite spectrum must find everything so routine, everything is same old same old. Nothing is exciting and adrenaline rushing. I was talking to a boy and I said something about visiting San Fran again when I'm older and he looked shocked, "why would you do that? You have already been there," he said. I told him that there are tons of things to be discovered and it can't all be done in a single trip. He was simply baffled and I must admit that I was too, but for a very different reason. How can my generation be so un-thrilled about going places? If I love a place I want to visit over and over until every corner had been memorized.
I want to be an explorer of the world and I guess I have a hard time finding tolerance for people comfortable with the boring and expectable. Life is short, live big and meaningful while you have it.

This is a touchy subject, of that much I am aware.

I recently had to write a paper on my opinion of the very controversial subject of sexual orientation. If you don't agree with my opinion, let me know, I would love to hear other peoples outlooks on this topic.

Gay rights have become a subject that everyone seems to have a opinion on. It seems more and more people are coming out of the closet. In my opinion being sexually involved with the same sex is wrong. I do not agree that same sex marriage should be legalized or given the advantage in workplaces and in society. People are too caught up with being discriminated against these days.

I disagree with same sex marriage simply because the Bible names it to be a sin. It is wrong for a man to lie with another man. At the same time we are all sinners therefore I will love the sinner and not the sin. I am very accepting of the person who is gay, just like Christ would be, but I am sure to make it clear that I do not agree with their sinful nature.

If a person is gay, fine, but if they are sexually involved with someone of the same sex I find it completely unacceptable. Marriage and sexual involvement is for man and woman to enjoy together, not man and man or woman and woman. If this “coming out of the closet” things is kept up at the pace that people are coming out now I can very easily see the population going down causing problems in our society. With the lack of children coming into this world, workplaces would suffer by not having enough workers and the economy would drop at the lack of a work force.

If a person is adamant on being attracted to the same sex then I think there are many ways for them to avoid sin. The Lord says in the Bible that He loves it when a couple gets married and works together to do His will, it pleases Him immensely. But at the same time He admires the person who decides to stay single and dedicate their entire lives to Him. I think the gay person could go down the path of non-marriage. They would not be sexually involved and, just like every other Godly individual they would steal away their minds from adulterous thoughts. They would be sexually pure, and though they would not be completely sinless, none of us really are.

God is a forgiving God who hates sin but loves every single one of us sinners, whether we have given our lives to Him or not. He would not love the gay person's sin of yearning for sexual interaction with people of the same sex, He doesn’t love any of our sexual yearnings.

Basically, I do not support being gay at all. Man and woman were meant to be together, not man and man or woman and woman. I have no problem with being friends with the person, I am by no means “homophobic.” But if I were to ever be friends with a person who was gay or lesbian I would make it known to them that I do not support their being gay. I feel like too many Christians are unkind to people with confused genders and if gays are shunned by people who are supposed to reflect God’s love than the person would not feel any love for Christ.

Recently there was the disagreement between the CEO of Chick-fil-a and gays. The Gay Rights leader sat down and had a couple of talks with the Chick-fil-a CEO. The leader of gay rights said that he did not feel discriminated against by the CEO, they sat down and had great talks and the CEO came to understand the gays side of things and the gay activist learned the CEO’s side of things. They are now reportedly friends.

I think a relationship like this is a great way to treat a person you disagree with. They know that you disagree and you know they don’t feel the same as them but you both understand each other's sides and can look past the differences.

I do not believe that people are born gay, I think it is a choice. This is my opinion and though 

people may not agree with me, I will stick strong to it. Everyone should be loved, despite their sin.

New Plan

Oh hey there! It seems like I start more posts than not like this but, sorry I haven't written anything for awhile. I'm thinking a weekly post with a good deal of thought put into it would be in my best interest.
I'm really struggling with where I want to go with this post so, I'll just wrap it up for now and work on my post for next weekend. My promise to you is that it will be great!!

Rapturing Regret

Everyone has regrets. It could be something as small as wishing you said hello to the stranger you felt compelled to say hello to, but didn't. Something as meaningless as choosing the wrong movie or choosing the wrong phone case. Something where at the moment you stand faced with a choice and you choose the item that you reasoned was best and when you finish the movie or whatever you chose you wonder if that was really the best choice.
Then other times it's something a little larger. What if you had turned on a different street that day? What if you had chosen not to go on that walk? What if you hadn't craved that white mocha coffee? These regrets are what we could call the "what if regrets."
Lastly, we have our large regrets. For me it's wishing I would have continued ballet, I hate myself for being so stubborn. My Mom pushed and prodded but nothing could get me to go back to my beloved ballet classes. My Mom's big regret is not continuing piano when she was younger. For my Dad it is the fact that he quit making a habit of working out in college. These regrets tend to be the ones that plague us for the rest of our lives.
As I stated earlier, everyone has some sort of regret, big or small.
Here is my kicker, if we followed every poke and prod of God's would we have any regrets at all? Whether you have formed an opinion or not, hear me out, please.
God is a sovereign God, He is an all knowing God. In Jeremiah chapter one verse five He says:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations"
God knows exactly what we will do in the next five minutes, He leaves the choice up to us but He knows what our choice is going to be. He knows what kind of impact we will make upon this world, big or small. He is using us all, whether we touch only a couple of peoples lives or millions of people. He has His plans.
So, if He knows all, if He is omnipotent, why don't we turn to Him in our choices? I have often been compelled to smile at a person, say hello, start a conversation, sit by a stranger, and so much more. I feel nudges from God to do simple things that could make a huge difference in a persons life. Sometimes I obey God's request and other times I think about everything that could happen and I talk myself out of it. Ironically enough, every time I don't follow the little urges I'm filled with regret, but when I do commit the little act I am filled with a feeling of great happiness because most of the time the person is relieved by me doing whatever it is I did. God obviously knows what needs to be done, why must we have a hard time trusting that God knows what He is doing?
Same has to go with large decisions. My Dad has very recently taken on a new job. This a big milestone in his life. You can bet that this decision was made with countless hours in prayer and also listening to what the Lord wanted us to do. Big decisions are always what people think about when they pray about being lead by God. But it's our every step that needs to be guided by Him.
If we lived with our hearts and our lives totally devoted and dedicated to God and followed His every urge I think we would live without regret. Of course, we are sinners, we will always let Satan work his way into our minds and convince us that we are too timid to ever step out and do God's will. God knows all so, why not give our all for Him? No matter what.
It takes 30 days for a habit to be ingrained into a persons mind so, for the next 30 days every time you feel led to step out of your box, go for it. Live your life God's way and live without a worming regret! You will mess up, accept that! We are sinners, we are fallen people, we are imperfect. That is why we have Jesus. God knows we mess up, it breaks His heart, but He forgives.
So, make a habit of stepping out of your box! Have a never ending conversation with Him, He will lead you the way He wants you to go!
Live life without regret, live life God's way!
Abbie

Getting lost without being lost

Sorry for my absence, school has started back up again and so, I'm working on getting back into the swing of things. I have a lot of fun classes but they all promise to be a challenge for me. On top of all of that tennis conditioning has started up and season will be in full swing in a month or so.
Any way I had the privilege of going on a bit of an "adventure" before break ended and I never had a chance to fill all of you in!! The idea came from the book "How to be an Adventurer of the World" that I dedicated a post to earlier. The instructions were simply to go on a walk and every time you thought, "oh I'll go this way" you had to go the other way. The book explains it as, "getting lost without being lost."
So I set out on my journey to lose myself in my awe of the Maker but still know where I was. It was a tad bit nippy out but I was nice and bundled up! If I saw something I wanted to explore, you can bet I went.
I found myself at a neighborhood park right by one of the pools I worked at this summer. I plowed through snow drifts that met up with my knees and touched everything that was of interest to me.
I'm going to make another reference to Lord of the Rings, just because the movie is that great! In the first movie Frodo quotes Bilbo:
"It's dangerous business Frodo, going out of your door, you step into the road, and if you don't keep your feet there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."
I wasn't swept of to some crazy amazing place and I didn't find anything too amazing either. But I did find something of great importance to me, my sanity. I lost it over break after being constantly surrounded by people. On my walk I was able to connect with myself again! I was able to explore my curiosities without being questioned about what I was doing. I wandered from the beaten path and left my prints in the untouched snow.
I have so many Lord of the Rings references I could use right now but I won't use them. I'll save it all for a LOTR post I just decided I'll make in the future.
I kind of rambled on in this post, I apologize. I will try to start keeping up with posts as well!
So, if all goes as planned, so long until tomorrow!! And hopefully my post is better too!
Abbie

Living life God's way

Happy faces, rosy cheeks, shouts of glee, the scraping of metal against ice, the holding of hands, and the falling on bums. I'll bet you can guess where I was today!
I laced my feet into a pair of figure skates and became the dreamer of skating dreams. It took me awhile to warm up but ten minutes in I was skating like a pro.
I spent this lovely day with my Aunt, Uncle, Cousins, and Grandparents. Out of our whole group my two year old cousin was the most ambitious. In the beginning she wanted nothing to do with the ice but after seeing her Cousins and Mommy and Daddy skate, she wanted in. She took to the ice like a fish to water and after seeing a couple of other little kids skating backwards while holding a grown ups hands she let go of my Uncle's hand and grabbed both of mine. She then says "I want to skate backwards."
I think we can all learn from my cousins bravery. I once read that as soon as a child worries about the future is when childhood is given up they start to become an adult. Like any child my cousin did not worry about falling, she saw something she wanted to try and trusted that I would not let her fall.
Why can't adults and adolescents be like that? Why do we worry about what will happen when we want to do something. Now granted, it's a good to think about the consequences. You don't just do, say drugs just because you want to. Most people know not to do drugs because they thought through the consequences.
I'm talking about things that we know the consequences wouldn't be too grave. I'm talking things that God approves of, things that God says, "I want you to do that." Why can't we just trust that God would never have us do something that wouldn't shape us into the person He wants us to be? Just like I wouldn't have let my cousin skate backwards if I thought she would be hurt from it.
Why can't we just go head long into any adventure God okays for us? It could be the adventure that we tell our grandchildren about at our knee someday. Do you want to miss that opportunity? Just like how Bilbo Baggins said yes to his adventure, after much prodding, but thankfully he went along, otherwise we would have no Lord of the Rings and he would have no story to tell.
Ignore the fact that I just referenced LOTR if you have never seen the movies or read the books (you should really watch/read them though, they are great!) But I want you to understand what I am trying to say here. Adventure is meant to be had and life is meant to be lived to glorify God. So, jump in, don't be scared, if God approves you would be crazy not to hurry on your way and do His bidding. Think of how amazing this world would be and how interesting people would be if everyone allowed their every step to be guided by God Himself. It would be a lovely world.
So, next time you feel God urging you to do something unexpected, big or small, I challenge you to go out on a whim and grab life by the horns and go for it!
Abbie